You Can’t Coach What You’re Still Avoiding: A Love Letter to the Overqualified Feelers Who Think They’re Broken

There’s something I need to say to the feelers who’ve become the fixers:

You’re not failing just because you feel like shit while helping others heal.

You’re just overdue for your own damn medicine.

This week I remembered something I’ve known for years,

but finally let land: You can’t coach what you’re still avoiding.

You can’t preach presence when you dissociate during your downtime.

You can’t teach boundaries when your nervous system only knows collapse or overextension.

You can’t hold sacred space while resenting everyone for filling it with their grief.

And yet?

You keep showing up.

Because it’s who you are.

But here’s the deal, love:

The fact that you’re still showing up doesn’t mean you’re thriving.

It means you’re functioning under spiritual duress.

And that’s not sustainable.

The podcast arc The Ones Who Feel Too Much wasn’t just a theme — it was a confession. A communion. A call to realign.

Because the truth is:

• You’re not broken for short-circuiting.

• You’re not unqualified because you need rest.

• You’re not a fraud for helping others while still healing yourself.

You’re just a high-functioning, highly feeling human who was never taught to ground sacredness in your own system first.

At Kavi Apoha, we don’t teach from the mountaintop.

We teach from the floor.

With the floodwaters still on our ankles and truth dripping off our tongues.

So, here’s your permission slip:

Pause.

Feel.

Restructure.

Let your own sensitivity be sacred again.

And when you come back to serve…Do it from overflow.

Not from survival.