When Spiritual Advice Becomes Gaslighting: Reclaiming Your Voice After Being Spiritually Silenced

Let’s talk about that moment —the quiet click inside you when you realized that “love and light” was being used as a leash.

The moment someone smiled at your pain and said,

“That’s just your shadow.”

“You’re projecting.”

“If you were really in alignment, this wouldn’t be happening.”

And suddenly, you weren’t healing —you were shrinking.

You started apologizing for being human.

You started doubting your own gut.

You started calling your inner “no” ego,

and your sacred rage unprocessed trauma.

Beloved, that’s not guidance.

That’s gaslighting wrapped in glitter.

The Shine That Shuts You Up

Spiritual gaslighting is one of the most insidious forms of control because it masquerades as kindness.

It doesn’t shout — it whispers affirmations while slowly eroding your clarity.

It quotes scripture and hashtags healing while dismissing your discomfort as negativity.

It wears mala beads and smiles while suggesting your pain is proof of your inadequacy.

And by the time you notice, you’re no longer standing in your sovereignty —you’re outsourcing your truth to someone who calls your discernment “low vibration.”

I’ve lived that.

I’ve swallowed my voice in the name of “vibrations.”

I’ve begged my nervous system to quiet down while smiling through psychic harm.

I’ve stayed in rooms that felt holy — but required my silence as the price of admission.

I’ve confused bypassing for peace.

And I’ve walked out of spaces that called themselves love,

only to realize they were allergic to truth.

The Gospel of Gaslight

Let’s name it clearly:

When spiritual language is used to invalidate lived experience, it becomes a weapon.

When someone uses your longing for healing to manipulate your behavior, it’s not mentorship — it’s mind control wearing a halo.

True teachers don’t flinch when you feel.

True communities don’t punish you for questioning.

True healing doesn’t require your silence.

If your spiritual practice demands that you abandon your body — it’s not sacred.

If your community can’t hold your grief without fixing it — it’s not safe.

If someone calls your boundaries “resistance to growth,” — they’re not your guide.

Because healing is not obedience.

It’s integration.

And love doesn’t control you — it connects you back to yourself.

The Return of the Voice

Coming home to yourself after spiritual silencing is like relearning a language you once spoke fluently.

At first, your voice trembles.

Your truth comes out in whispers.

You second-guess your every intuition.

But slowly, the body remembers.

The throat clears.

The crow in your chest — the one that’s been watching from the fence line — begins to sing again.

You start to remember that your feelings are not flaws.

They are feedback.

Your discomfort isn’t defiance — it’s direction.

And your rage isn’t rebellion — it’s revelation.

The moment you stop apologizing for your sensitivity, you start living from your sovereignty.

A Living Creed

If your faith can’t hold your questions,

it’s not faith — it’s fear.

If your healing demands you stay small,

it’s not wholeness — it’s hierarchy.

And if your teacher requires your silence,

you are already your own.

We don’t heal by pretending to be okay.

We heal by telling the truth — even when our voice shakes.

If you’ve ever been spiritually silenced, I want you to know this:

Your voice is still holy.

Your rage is still sacred.

Your discernment is still divine.

And your “too much” is simply someone else’s inability to meet your depth.

You are not difficult.

You are detailed.

You are not dramatic.

You are devoted to what’s real.

This isn’t the end of your path.

It’s the beginning of your real one.

🖤

Kavi Apoha

For the ones who healed without permission.